Cheeseburger Haiku - Fortago Burger Bar

That was rough. 

My goodness, has it really been over a month since my last Haiku? For shame, Josh. For shame. I am disappoint.

I don't know if you've seen those ads on TV lately, those PSAs warning about the dangers of BWS, but let me tell you firsthand: Burger Withdrawal Syndrome is no laughing matter. Sure, the ad may portray it as humorous in an attempt to illicit the kind of emotional response that will make you think twice before skipping burger time. But what they don't tell you about is what it does to your innards (which, if I'm not mistaken, is comprised of guts, black stuff, and about fifty Slim Jims). BWS carries with it the very real risk of lost weight (never mind those fliers you're throwing up on vacant buildings and lampposts all over town, it ain't coming back), extra energy (I mean, really, who wants to take the stairs up that half flight of stairs, when you can take the lift to the second floor and come down a half flight?) and a non-offensive odor (kiss those beefy toots good-bye). No matter which way you look at it, BWS is something to be avoided at all costs. Heed my words my burger brethren. Heed them well.



The burger break buster that saved my tail and brought my 'lesterol level back up to a reasonable range was  the Fortago Burger Bar. While the name sounds fancy, the burger and the place were anything but. I got the Swat Burger, which I'm certain has nothing to do that horrible, horrible movie with LL Cool J and Colin Ferrel. Topped with bacon, swiss, pickles and onion, this was exactly the no-frills burger I needed to end by burger drought. It wasn't delicious, nor wasn't it undelicious. The burger itself was bland and had the shape and taste of a burger that was thawed on the grill--never a good thing. Normally I would be displeased with such a burger, but I wasn't as discriminating as I should've been, because what damn fool with BWS is picky with his burger time?

Additional things of note: the sweet potato fries were soggy and terrible, and I did not have a beer to wash it all down. Instead, I had a Coke, which kept me up all night because I ate after 7 o'clock.