Cheeseburger Haiku - Island Burger part 2

Greetings Burger Brethren! Welcome back to Cheeseburger Haiku, the poem about, and shaped like, the delicious tasty meat-bread-cheese trinity. In this edition, our resident burgermeister heads back to Island Burger for another go-round at the 60+ offerings on the menu. This time, the burger was called Pepe's. We're not sure who Pepe is, or what he did to earn his own burger, but he must have been something special. Following is a short history of the legend of Pepe, as relayed to the editors of Cheeseburger Haiku in the language of deliciousness:

Pepe was a hard man living in a hard time. His poncho was very big. On the rough plains of Tuscaloosa, Pepe was a donkey herder whose donkey farm was beset by the terrible donkey plague. All of his donkeys were dead or dying or dying to be dead. Pepe's rigid, tan features were  animated by tears for his poor donkeys far too often. One Thursday he saw an ill-portent: a hamster stuck in a hamster ball stuck in a giant tumbleweed tumbling east under a cloudless sky. Pepe was far too familiar with the omen: it had devastated his life once as a youngster already and he'd be darned if he was going to let it happen again, so he loaded up his least dead Donkey and rode out after the hamster stuck in a hamster ball stuck in a tumbleweed. Always just out of reach of his bounty, Pepe followed it all the way to the shores of the Carnie River. There at the banks of the river, he scooped up the ball and was about to give it a good punt into the blue sky, when a haggard witch approached him. After a tense stand off, with tons and tons of squinting, Pepe handed over the ball in exchange for immortality. That day, that very day, Island Burger devised a new burger and called it Pepe's. Then all of Pepe's donkeys got better and everyone was happy.



Not only everyone, but us too! The Pepe is a wondermous burger consisting of blackened, bacon, guacamole, jack cheese and onions. Cooked medium and delightfully juicy, this burger proved that our last encounter with Island Burgers and Shakes was no fluke. The burger was delicious, but I'm going to have to take the bun to task. Foolish sesame seed bun! How daft of you to think that you are up to the challenge of ferrying a medium Pepe to our mouth? This was one of the worst cases of soggy bottom bun that we've ever come across. This burger was like a Grisham novel, we simply couldn't put it down!!! All kidding aside, we didn't put this woofer down once for fear of losing the reign of thumb on the bottom bun. Alas, something terrible (perhaps, an omen from Pepe himself?) happened: the bottom bun slid so far up and the top bun slipped so far back that by the end there was only one large top bun remaining. Fortuneately, Pepe planned for this and we folded the top bun over to the bottom and finished the burger, taco style. Everyone rejoiced and all were happy, especially our belly. To wash it all down, we washed it al down with an Old Chub Scotch Ale, it was a perfect companion to the healthy amount of zest on the Pepe. Also, the fries didn't disappoint.

And now, the haiku: